FEAR. (all caps are scary, eh?)

Fear. There, I said it.

It's the topic I'm most focused on as of about 3 weeks ago (well, that's a lie - I've just REALIZED its the topic I'm most motivated by in most situations).It's the topic that we - as parents - try to keep our kids from being ruled by, but, yet we tend to let it have a vice grip over our lives...

I don't want to speak up -
I'm afraid someone might disagree

I don't want to step out on a limb -
I'm afraid someone might not approve

I don't want to let go of toxic relationships -
I'm afraid they'll think I'm not a "good Christian"

I don't want to tell my kids certain truths -
I'm afraid the truth will taint their perception

I don't want to make decisions on my own -
I'm afraid I will be wrong

I don't want to admit my fears rule me -
I'm afraid I'll seem weak unless I keep up the front

Hmmm...I could go on and on. (But, I'm afraid I might offend some people...dang it, there I go again!) Fear dominates my motivations...it really does. I've started praying that God would show me areas that fear dominates (primarily because FEAR is the topic of our Mommies in Connection get-together 10/1 and I'm working on some stuff for that) my life. I'm thinkin' - OK, there might be a few things that will help me CONNECT with others...just a few. Well - gulp - I was shock-n-awed at how fast all the fears were coming at me. REALLY?? For REAL? Uh...yea...for real.

I started recognizing (and writing in my journal) those most common things that trouble me...things that are a stumbling blocks for me (see above for partial list) and realized at the core of each was a fear of something. Crazy talk.

Ya know, this all started because in MIC we were going to deal with fears that our children have...and then it grew from there. I realized this: how can I help my kiddos walk thru/overcome their fears when I'm allowing my life to be ruled by fears? 

In my favorite parenting book there is a point that I love and underlined a few times:

"Learning always involves two steps: stopping old behaviors, then starting new ones."

Its not as easy as saying, "Lord, I'm NO LONGER afraid". You have to stop being fearful and then start a new behavior. For me, that new behavior is trusting God.

Ya see, I'm realizing - while I like to say that I trust Him with my life - I am only trusting Him as far as I can STILL maintain some control...I'm trying to keep fixing/manipulating because I'm afraid of what may come next. Is that trust? Nah. Not trust.

In the Bible, there is one command (in one form or another) recorded more than any other from God/Jesus: DO NOT BE AFRAID. He knew we'd be chained to fear...consumed by it. He also knew He had to repeat Himself 100s of times to get the point across (He really IS a parent isnt He?).

And so, what will I do with this? Well...I'm asking Him to help me see and stop my fears. Just like w/my kids, most of the time I do NOT have all the answers to their fears, but I do know that my job is to help them move past those fears. And then, I'm making baby steps to live differently...it feels weird, I assure you. But, I'm willing. I'm ready.

So I ask you - what are you afraid of?

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline." 2nd Timothy 1:7 NLT

That fear ain't from Him, y'all...it's all us. I wanna be DONE with fear. Don't you?

Comments

[BM]

I like this--fear limits life in so many ways and it's usually fear of something that is never going to happen. A journey to overcome this is pretty cool thing to take on-