Kris' Blogorama

RandBG.

Driving to school today was a mixed bag of greatness...and (heavy sigh) regret for me.

Let me back up...

This week I've been kinda battling the feeling of dread and just basic disinterested monotony in my day-to-day stuff. It bugs me when I let life become a giant to-do list and by the end of the day I wonder what I did to make the world a better place...or at the very least, to make a difference in SOMEONE'S (even a dawg's) life. And so, for the past few days my prayer when I have opened my eyes was my Kris translation of a verse everyone's heard: "This is the day You have set for me - laundry, spending 3 hours driving back/forth to school, applying dog itch meds to said dawgs, laundry, grocery for 3rd time in 3 days, laundry - let me REJOICE and BE GLAD IN IT."

Rejoice and be glad in it (aka: RandBG).

That's been my goal...it's not been easy. And I feel sick and guilty for that as I watch awesome people all around me walking thru BIG, hard stuff and seeming to find a way to RandBG in the midst of it.

So FF to today...

I'm SO not a morning person. For. Real. NOT a morning person. But, in Operation RandBG I've tried hard to remember that I'm starting off a day for 3 of my fav people (and 2 of my fav dawgs); often, I'm the thermostat for how their day starts. And, to be quite honest, for one of my people - the newly middle-schooled one - life has not been easy lately. I GET to help him/them start their day...to be the beginning.

Rejoice and be glad.

It was the best drive ever...we laughed hard and they listened to me remember the funny words they used as baby-kids...and stories of how "Puppy-uppy" and "Woofy" got lost at malls and Epcot (another blog for another time) and how - at that moment - our entire universes revolved around the loss of stuffed animals who held magical power over my kiddos. And then it hit me. This train is moving WAY TOO FAST. 6th grade and 3rd grade.Puppy-uppy and Woofy are relegated to a top shelf somewhere in their rooms.

I miss Puppy-uppy and Woofy very much, thank you. But, I'll tell you what I was struck with...there IS and WILL BE so many more moments to be made and savored. Now the Puppy-uppy and Woofy moments are about bigger life stuff. Like, learning how to be compassionate to those who need it - and not caring who sees it. Like, being a good friend, even when you are hurting. Like, dealing with loss and pain...and trying to understand that. But, here's the kicker, for now, I GET TO be here for it all w/them.

I get so irritated at myself that I don't start everyday on the floor, on my knees thanking Him for the opportunity to live this life. Yep...it can be sorry sometimes...even monotonous (see: laundry), but if I choose to, I can RandBG in every bit of it.

When I trained for my 1/2 Ironman a few years ago I taped this on my top tube to see when I was struggling: "I GET TO". And so, here I am again...trying to learn that same lesson. This train of life is moving FAST...FASTER than we'd like at times. I don't want a moment to go by where I'm not trying hard to "rejoice and be glad in it".

I loved reminiscing w/my kiddos today. I loved those days when they were lil bitties. But, I WILL rejoice and be glad in the now that I get with them...right here...today. We can't wait for perfect times to RandBG, gang. Those times don't come by too often...

Lasts...and Matts

Holy moly.

So, last night was the last MIC until September (official MIC, that is - we'll have a few UNDERGROUND gatherings over the summer, tho). Not sure what I've told about MIC on my bloggy, but its been the thing God has put on my plate since late last summer. Who'da THUNK it...but He had some plans for me and I'm just trying my best to obey and ride the waves that He sends my way. MIC is a mommies group that we started at my church in Sept...a way for moms to connect and encourage each other all while trying to figure out what God intends our role as "mommy" to look like.

Its been humbling. I've seen/heard/enjoyed some blessings that I never knew I'd get to taste. I've gotten to share crazy mom stories w/other mamas and hear the "amen sista" that reminds me I'm not alone. I've gotten to watch Christ transform some lives...I even got to watch a mama get baptized and stand in the water tank - braver than I've ever been - and read her 'testimony' to a packed house (about the single coolest moment in my Christian walk so far, I think) .

Humbling.

Well, last nite was a pretty great culmination of our first official school year of MIC. We had Kym Carter from Legacy Moms come speak to us about being intentional with our kiddos during the summer.

Whew. Awesomeness.

Too much to rebroadcast right here right now (check the MIC blog bc I'm planning on posting tidbits for the next few weeks) - but there was ONE thought that blew my mind.

LASTS.

Kym brought up the fact that as moms we focus on so many "firsts": first steps, first tooth, first day of school, first girlfriend (yikes). But how often do we stop and realize that there are just as many "lasts". The last time you'll feed him a bottle in the middle of the night. The last time she'll ask to play Candyland with you. The last time they'll play pretend games or watch Max n Ruby together. The last time he'll hug you in front of his friends. The last time she'll want you to come eat lunch at school with her.

Lasts.

I felt overwhelmed with a real sense that THIS is going to be the summer that I unplug more...skip out on camps more...ignore the pressures and just be with them. Be with them the way they want to be with me. In the sprinklers. Hiking the trail. Playing games. Teaching them the greatness of card games (yes...another lost art and a blog in itself). Swimming with them and not just watching. I want to be intentional with my crew. They are the most important blessings God has gifted me with...and where do I place the majority of my efforts? If I even have to THINK on that...then I'm not doing it right.

Girls - well, all parents, really - our #1 ministry (or if you like churchy words - "calling") is in our homes. If we are short-changing them at home, then we are failing.

I don't want to miss my chances to be the mom God intended for me to be bc I'm too busy...or bc I'm falling into the trap of suburbia-peer-pressure. I don't want to miss the beauty of the lasts. 

MATTS.

As I type this - with mounds of laundry waiting to be folded I'm listening to my "Matts" playlist (great title right? Its Mat Kearney, Matt Nathanson, and Matt Wertz - chilled out good tunes) and this song came on. And you know how me likes music/lyrics. 

I Just Realized by Matt Wertz

Slippin out the window, lazy cotton breeze
Sittin on the front porch, you are next to me
Hear the leaves clappin, buzzin of a bee
Sun is summer glowin, its like a symphony

And I just realized what you mean to me
And I just realized what you mean to me

Dang...those Matts know how to put my feelings into words. Its time to focus on my lil people and not miss the good stuff. I hope you'll do the same with me this summer. He gave me this gift - to be a mom to this crazy kids. I don't want to miss it...

my godly mutt

Re-blogging this one today, bc I'm reminded again how UN-godly I can be and just how godly my dawg is.

~~~

Just got back from taking mutts for a walk...the single greatest reward I can give them (and I dont do it enough). And, as I was walking/watching/laughing at Duke (the big ol 120 lab of the duo) I thought about the greatness that is DUKE.

He's a godly mutt, truly and here are 5 compelling reasons I think so...

1) He wakes up with ONE goal in mind - to spend time with me. The goal never changes as the day goes on, its all he wants. And, if the day doesnt end up w/enough time w/me, then he moves on to the next day and starts the same way...same goal. No looking back. No regrets.

2) He doesnt love me based on circumstances/attitudes or any other ever-changing variable. He just loves me. No matter what kind of mess I've made of the day or how I've treated him, he looks at me the same way every  day.

3) He will wiggle/lick/dance and just be a joyful mutt...no matter who is looking or what they think/say.

4) He doesnt seem to measure the success of his days based on how many walks/treats/pets he gets...he just enjoys what he gets...every second of it...as though its his last one.

5) He doesnt wish for a bigger yard...a fancier collar...a comfy-er bed. He is satisfied.

I wanna be like my godly mutt.

Grace under pressure...and earpiercing

Ok...so yesterday was a big mommy day for me. EAR PIERCING DAY.

Maya is 7 - she's been asking for about a year. I've been putting it off - for about a year. Then one day, I realized, this is one of those times that I need to let her fight thru and be in charge of a decision for her life.

My first instinct was to protect and continue putting this off (for Heaven's sake, I got mine pierced when I was 16!). I know what's best...I know this is going to hurt and it may not end up being quite what she expected. And then, it kinda 'came over me' that as long as I lay it out (pro/con) for her and help prepare her to make this decision and guide her in responsibility and widsom, then I'm doing my job.

Let me 'splain...

As a mommy (and over-protective one, at that - I'm married to "safety Brent" afterall), my job is NOT solely protection. Don't freak - what I mean is, I am called to protect my kiddos to a point, but with each year I need to loosen my grip a bit. I heard it said once to think of parenting as a rope tied to them. When they are small, you keep it TIGHT - no slack. As they grow, you let out a bit of slack here and there - always ready to reel it back in when necessary. Even as teens and then adults, we are still tethered...just lots more slack. I love that picture.

Well, I tend to be a I-am-NOT-letting-any-slack-out kind of mama.

As dorky as it seems, I asked God yesterday if He even cared if we did earpiercing...and if He did, if He could throw some wisdom my way...help me be sure one way or the other. And it was then that the rope thing came back to me. This was a perfect moment to let out a little slack...whether I liked it or not.

And so I loosened my grip.

I let 2 teenagers w/face piercings take a lil' gun to my kid's precious ears. Gulp. I wont lie...I had a moment of panic and asked God silently what the heck this had to do w/being a good parent. And then, as though in response to my silent Q I looked into her eyes...they were about to do the deed and she was so afraid...but determined like I've never ever seen her be. Everything in me wanted to grab her up and RUN! "Are you SURE about this? We can wait and think about it." She looked at me calm as can be (fear in her eyes, tho), "I'm sure." And I let out the slack.

It was a moment that went WAY beyond the hello kitty earrings that she picked or the teenagers w/piercings or the threat of infection at THAT moment. It was a moment when I felt like I was doing SOMETHING right w/her. Like - stay with me here - I was preparing her for what was to come...making decisions that would surely result in pain, but ultimately were worth the agony of what you walked thru to get to the other side. Protecting her from anything that scares ME doesnt teach that kind of lesson.

The other side - getting to the hello kitty earrings - takes fighting thru the fear and sitting still thru the pain. Wow, what that girl taught me...I continue to be amazed at the revelations He shows me when I make the choice to look up and see.

She rocks. It was truly one of my favorite days ever.

Some good-goods about this stage in life

So, as I was driving the kiddos to school today I started thinking about how FAST time is passing by. HOW THE HECK did I wake up this morning w/10 and 7 year olds?? HOW, I ask? But as I lamented (only briefly) for the days of strollers and Dora the Explorer, I stopped and realized that SOONER than later I'll look back at this stage and be sad that its gone, too. So...I need to take it all in...I need to think thru the greatness that is the elementary school days and be thankful for the NOW.

Here are 10 reasons I love this time...

1) Overhearing this, "So...Bub, pretend that I'm Gabriella and I'm in the spring musical..." and hearing him actually DO IT. They still play together everyday...he still plays along...she still things he hung the moon.

2) On the way to school is still FUN. This is their current musical request...complete w/hand-clappin' and fake banjo playin' (and the occasional 'air snap', Aunt Robin):

3) Getting to see her sing in the children's choir on Mother's Day - better wear the waterproof mascara, eh?

4) He's not too cool to lay with me on the couch and watch American Idol...we intensely judge, discuss, and analyze all things AI together. All while she usually has Brent in the other room dancing or reading or something fun.

5) THEY BATHE THEMSELVES AND DRESS THEMSELVES.

6) They pray the coolest prayers ever...and pray with 100% expectation of His answers. No skeptics at 10 and 7. I want that.

7) Although he is tettering btw growing up/being too cool, he still thinks being at home w/us is the best night ever. Sigh. I dread the change.

8) She still plays babydolls more often that "teenager".

9) He loves to watch sports now and really understands it.

10) They say "i love u" way too often...AS IF there was ever a 'way too often'

Every stage is cool in its own way. Just thought I better jot this down...bc time is moving too fast.

Jesus HEARTS Halloween

For those of you who wondered what Jesus REALLY thinks of Halloween...

That's Him...right beside Amy Whinehouse! (I'm the Red Raider and hubby is mtn biker getting attacked by mtn lion - kids are tech football player and 60s girl next to me!)

"becoming"

I just finished a pretty good book about raising girls (see full title, etc. in left column)...I wouldnt say I LOVED every second of this book, but I will say...it did bring me some insight that I am BEGGING God to use to change me...to make me a better mommy to my sweet girl (and my son, too).

As I was sitting in carpool finishing the book, I thought, "if I'm going to READ this stuff, then I HAVE to walk away w/some things that I 'got' from it...that are concrete enough to remember." So, I stopped at that moment and wrote down 4 things about this book that were pretty earth-shattering-cool to me:

1 - she is "becoming" - that is, she is always turning into the girl/lady/woman that God is intending...always becoming who she is to be. NO moment wasted...no experience not important to that ultimate 'becoming'. In fact, she will never stop becoming...not until she is in heaven. Wow.

2 - What do I "name" her? - Hmmm. This one was huge for me. Throughout her life she is constantly 'named' by those close to her AND strangers. "Oh, arent you smart!" "She sure is MOODY in the morning." "You are so shy arent you?" "You are being grumpy and rude to your brother." NAMED. Some accurate, some not - all meaningful. What do I name her? Do I seek opportunities to put MY priorities aside and realize that I have the opportunity to name her...to apply a label to her that she will come to believe is true. Do I give her the name that God desires her to live up to? Wow again. The cool thing, He has already named her...He already knows the purposes for her life experiences/circumstances and He's just sitting back to watch. I want to name her what He DESIRES. I get to name her...I love that.

3 - Listen for God's name for her - sometimes I may know His name for her, sometimes not. I cant imagine reading that thought when you are watching your young daughter suffer. I'm sure it was excrutiating for my mom to see me suffer when I lost my dad...I cannot imagine. Did He intend for part of my name to be 'suffering'? Maybe...but just maybe, His name was to be "comforter" or "compassionate one". How else could I be one of those names if not for the suffering. Today I cried thinking of my mom and how she had to watch God "name" us in that time...I'd never thought of that before. Key is, asking God...and quietly listening (not TELLING Him) to what His name for her is...as hard as it may be. Trust - harder when its to trust your kids' hearts to His plan.

4 - I cannot and will not  solely shape/form the woman she will be...as much as I try - I'm not going to be in control of that. i cannot TELL her how to have self-love. I cannot TEACH her everything. So many things she'll have to experience...and be shaped by others and by circumstances. My job is to prepare her as best as I can. That is where asking Him for help is key. 

And so, as I type I'm listening to my 6 year old practice her constantant sounds...she is awesome. "Lord, what can I name her today? Help me AID You in her 'becoming'. Thank You for her...she rocks"

some pix from paradise

          

weirdest summer ever

well. well. well.

I'm better - not quite 100%. Fever thing hung on for just over 24 hours and then the fever-hangover stayed for another day or so. But for the most part, I'm back in action. Thurs in bible study day - always a mixture of awesomeness and awfulness. Always always always get bad headaches on Thurs. Always. Usually have some major issue or distraction to contend with, but I've grown accustomed to what Thurs brings. Afterall, I know that Bible study is a major stumbling block to that satan guy and he likes to try and "steal, kill, and destroy" in the wise words of my pastor. I'm used to what Thurs brings...bc it is always WORTH IT. Always. I've never loved what God is doing in that room of women quite as much as this year...I cant explain it really, but it is a privlege to be there and get to be a part of it.

But, on to the "weirdest summer ever" part. We have been SICK in some way for-stinkin-EVER! I kid you not. Today after BS we went to our new neighborhood community pool (it rocked) and kids had a blast. I even got to play canasta w/my 2 pals (yes...we are THAT old now bc we were playing CARDS poolside - classic, truly) while the kids played! So, it shouldve been no surprise when we got home and Braedo-potato said he felt sick. Yes. Sick. Killer headache (he tends to get those) and then the puking started. As I type, hubby and Maya are at her "Keyboard Kamp" finale and I'm typing next to a sweaty, sleeping, sicko. Poor guy.

So, the summer of 08 will forever be remembered as the SICKO SUMMER. One more bites the dust. Who's next??? The doggies? Argh.

Stay healthy. Go wash your hands. And stay in your clean, sanitized homes (shout out AJ!).

My freaky peeps

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