Kris' Blogorama

The Solution

I don't know what your problem is, but I know this - we all have different probs, but one solution. I was reminded of this today in a very real way...

 

^1-2With the arrival of Jesus, the Messiah, that fateful dilemma is resolved. Those who enter into Christ's being-here-for-us no longer have to live under a continuous, low-lying black cloud. A new power is in operation. The Spirit of life in Christ, like a strong wind, has magnificently cleared the air, freeing you from a fated lifetime of brutal tyranny at the hands of sin and death.

 ^3-4God went for the jugular when he sent his own Son. He didn't deal with the problem as something remote and unimportant. In his Son, Jesus, he personally took on the human condition, entered the disordered mess of struggling humanity in order to set it right once and for all. The law code, weakened as it always was by fractured human nature, could never have done that.

   The law always ended up being used as a Band-Aid on sin instead of a deep healing of it. And now what the law code asked for but we couldn't deliver is accomplished as we, instead of redoubling our own efforts, simply embrace what the Spirit is doing in us.

 ^5-8Those who think they can do it on their own end up obsessed with measuring their own moral muscle but never get around to exercising it in real life. Those who trust God's action in them find that God's Spirit is in them—living and breathing God! Obsession with self in these matters is a dead end; attention to God leads us out into the open, into a spacious, free life. Focusing on the self is the opposite of focusing on God. Anyone completely absorbed in self ignores God, ends up thinking more about self than God. That person ignores who God is and what he is doing. And God isn't pleased at being ignored.

 ^9-11But if God himself has taken up residence in your life, you can hardly be thinking more of yourself than of him. Anyone, of course, who has not welcomed this invisible but clearly present God, the Spirit of Christ, won't know what we're talking about. But for you who welcome him, in whom he dwells—even though you still experience all the limitations of sin—you yourself experience life on God's terms. It stands to reason, doesn't it, that if the alive-and-present God who raised Jesus from the dead moves into your life, he'll do the same thing in you that he did in Jesus, bringing you alive to himself? When God lives and breathes in you (and he does, as surely as he did in Jesus), you are delivered from that dead life. With his Spirit living in you, your body will be as alive as Christ's!

 ^12-14So don't you see that we don't owe this old do-it-yourself life one red cent. There's nothing in it for us, nothing at all. The best thing to do is give it a decent burial and get on with your new life. God's Spirit beckons. There are things to do and places to go!

 ^15-17This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It's adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike "What's next, Papa?" God's Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what's coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we're certainly going to go through the good times with him!

 ^18-21That's why I don't think there's any comparison between the present hard times and the coming good times. The created world itself can hardly wait for what's coming next. Everything in creation is being more or less held back. God reins it in until both creation and all the creatures are ready and can be released at the same moment into the glorious times ahead. Meanwhile, the joyful anticipation deepens.

 ^22-25All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it's not only around us; it's within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We're also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don't see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy.

 ^26-28Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

 ^29-30God knew what he was doing from the very beginning. He decided from the outset to shape the lives of those who love him along the same lines as the life of his Son. The Son stands first in the line of humanity he restored. We see the original and intended shape of our lives there in him. After God made that decision of what his children should be like, he followed it up by calling people by name. After he called them by name, he set them on a solid basis with himself. And then, after getting them established, he stayed with them to the end, gloriously completing what he had begun.

 ^31-39So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn't hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn't gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God's chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ's love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture:

   They kill us in cold blood because they hate you.
   We're sitting ducks; they pick us off one by one.
None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I'm absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God's love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.

have we missed it?

So...I've been reading a great book. Define "great book"? For me, its one that makes me stop and think or challenges my lazy thinking/believing or takes me somewhere I dont know I would've gone on my own.

I read something the other day that had me stewing on it for a few and I thought I'd throw it out there.

Morality.

I suppose I'm in the "re-examine your life, motives, decisions, etc." stage in life...almost 40...kids getting all grown-up-n-stuff. I find myself thinking thru things differently than I did at 25 (when I seemed to think I had it all figured out). Life moves you like that...as it should. And so, as I read my book the author dug in to a question that I thought I understood...

"Is morality ENOUGH?"

Hmmmm. At first it didnt really bug me, but the more I thought it thru and read his words on this, the more I realized how guilty I can be of thinking 'yes...its enough' - even when the core of my beliefs should scream NO! Do I live a life that represents the "well...I live a good life...do good things..." way of thinking? Is it enough?

I think I've missed this...I think most of us have.

Consider this:  a man who was abusive and neglectful to his family let his jealousy get out of control and attacked his wife - throwing acid in her face and marring her face forever. Then he walked out on them never to return. Twenty years later - the man returns to his former wife - who still bears the scars from the acid - saying, "I live alone and I'm dying of cancer. Will you take me in and care for me in the final stages of my illness?"

Morality would dictate this man gets what he deserves...that he die alone without compassion.

But a redeemed heart says, "Let me bind his wounds, because what needs attention is his soul."

Morality says, "There is nothing reasonable in this man's request."

The redeemed heart says, "The reason by which we live is the heart of mercy that dos not keep a ledger."

Morality says, "Its all about whether you you think its right or not."

The redeemed heart says, "What would God have me do in this situation?"

Huh. Since when does 'morality' have the be the end-all? We all have our 'buttons'...I mean, if you've been scarred by acid, you may not be able to swallow this example...or been divorces...or lied to...or attacked...or affected by suicide. Those may be your, "I can go THIS far, but NO further..." I dunno. But, I do know that God has such a purpose in redeeming his peeps. I mean, where you cant show compassion to the one who harmed you, maybe I can. And vice versa. Did you ever think of it that way? When God said that His mercy covered it all...I dont think there was anything in there about "only if you deserve it" or "but, redemption will only be FAIR".

Its got me thinkin...if God decided my miserable lil life was worth getting involved in, then, maybe there IS more to just being "moral". I hope to be that person...that redeemed one.

"why do you blog?"

Hmmmmm.

Good Q. Well, I've been blogging for a whole buncha years now and I still get stumped when I get asked that. I've found the most common beliefs about the whole blog-thing are:

1) I have nothing better to do...too much time on my hands and use all that excess time sitting in front of computer blabbing about nonsense

2) I'm ALL ABOUT self-glorification - I'm trying hard to put out some kind of 'brand' that I want everyone to believe about me...me me me!

Well. I suppose on some level they are both true - to a degree. I mean, seriously, you dont think I'm going to chose BAD pictures of me to post on purpose right? And truly, I do reserve the right to edit my parenting blunders or marital disasters as I see fit on my own lil blogorama ya know? And, really...I do spend too much time on this dang machine...I'll agree there. 

But, I guess what those who ask dont understand is all the reasons I do blog. So, I was inspired to share a few...in an effort to help you understand. So, here goes...

1) I'm a writer. Its what I do. Yes, I used to get paid for it (the technical writing, that is) but now the only pay I get is seeing that someone might be reading it, I suppose. I write when I pray. I write when I am happy. I write to encourage. I write to organize. I write. And so, when some friends (shout out AJ and EL) wanted to find a way to keep in touch - years ago - I started writing. And now, it has morphed into feeling 'led' to write; less about day to day these days - more about what I learn and come to know...and feel like someone else might want to know. 

2) I type fast. Well, I'm trying to tell the truth here. I bet I can blog this whole page faster than you can type a sentence...wanna race? 

3) I am a firm believer in the fact that God intends for us to be a community...not a big "organized religion" gal, but I do believe in the "church". And that means in normal-people-talk - we all have parts of life that we endure. And those parts of life can help another fella get thru the same/similar thing if we just let God use it...stop, get real and be willing to talk about some stuff that isnt always fun. SO, all that said - I want my 'stuff' to be useful to Him...

4) I am the one who gets to read the comments...and I get to see when some crazy thing I typed (really fast bc I'm a fast typist you know, of course) meant something to someone in their life...right when they needed it

5) It keeps me accountable...I try to be "out there" with what I'm trying to live out. Of course I fail (often those are the best blogs EVER), but I'm trying

6) Often times, I cant (or shouldnt...remember, I have a 'saying yes' problem - another blog/another time) spend time encouraging/helping others like I'd like. There've been times I've asked God "why give me the passion/desire to do something and then shut it down on me?" Sometimes I cant be there to hug a friend who's hurting...but, w/a blog, maybe my words can be when he/she is up at 2a struggling to get thru. Maybe its with a laugh...maybe just a reminder that you arent alone, but its a way He can let me be used...even when I cant be there. 

7) Its a record. I've looked into finding a way to publish all my stuff...so my kids have my "public journals" along w/all my private ones SOMEDAY when I'm gone...I dunno, its cool to think they'll know me so well from my words. I wish I had more of my dad's words.

8) Because I can. Ha. So there. 

NO I'm not dispensing my home address or the private information about my kids' friends, etc. I'm just doing my thing...and typing it all really fast (and usually not proof-reading it either, so dont gripe about typos). Can YOU give me the whys about all the ways you fill your day? And if so, bravo. I'll tell ya this, getting to blog grows me up more than watching whats on my DVR in there...just a thought. So, all the budding bloggers GO FOR IT...and dont let the nay-sayers bug.

mortar?

Yesterday I ran and had one of my favorite songs come on. Ya see, recently - I've felt a little swallowed up by all the things I have "to do" (that is: the things that I place high priority on getting accomplished). I feel like I'm swimming in things I need to do...I feel irritated when I dont succeed at getting those things done...I feel frustrated when I do (bc I find empty pockets of time make me feel 'unproductive')...I'm basically a mess. 

One thing I realized is that even my quiet times, havent been too 'quiet'. I need to be gone...alone w/God...not distracted by kids, dogs, phones, emails, facebook, etc. Gone. Gone...just Him and me. I've also realized I havent made time to run...that is SOOOO my time to get w/Him. 

And so, yesterday, I ran. 

As I ran I asked Him WHY I was so jumbled..."I mean, SERIOUSLY, things are going WELL right now...no death, illness, depression, etc. (in my immediate circle, that is) I mean, let's face it, Lord...I've been thru some ugly things at other times...this is supposed to be one of those "mountaintop" times. No deep valleys around right now. And, so why the frustration? Why the irritation? Why cant I just be CONTENT to be?"

I thought a lot about this...and then this song came on...these words hit me:

In the mundane tasks of living
In the pouring out and giving
In the waking up and trying 
In the laying down and dying

Hmmmm...and so, on this day I realized, sometimes the stuff that He needs to build me may not be what I expect it to be. "In the mundane task of living" and "in the laying down and dying" - Lord, you can use it all! I dont have to be feeding the malnurished or converting hearts OR attending funerals and suffering cancer to make a difference...to really be who He wants me to be. I can do that even in the "mundane task of living". 

Wow.

I feel so confused at times by that. How can He make me into who I need to be...make a difference...when I feel so...BLAH. Hmmm. I'm not sure. But, realizing its ALL mortar and stone building the foundation of what He is ultimately the Master Builder of - well, that makes me smile. 

So, I ramble and head off into my day...maybe not saving anyone or changing lives (that I can see) - but I'm going to try to see this day as an adventure (shout out Tracy) - as a necessary building block in what He has in store for me. Sometimes these are the hardest times...the deep struggles somehow make sense or deepen us...the shallow times just feel empty. 

I wont be empty...even in mundane-ness.

Kingdom Comes - Sara Groves
When anger fills your heart 
When in your pain and hurt
You find the strength to stop
You bless instead of curse

When doubting floods your soul
Though all things feel unjust
You open up your heart
You find a way to trust

That's a little stone that's a little mortar
That's a little seed that's a little water
In the hearts of the sons and the daughters
The kingdom's coming

When fear engulfs your mind
Says you protect your own
You still extend your hand
You open up your home

When sorrow fills your life
When in your grief and pain
You choose again to rise
You choose to bless the name

That's a little stone that's a little mortar
That's a little seed that's a little water
In the hearts of the sons and the daughters
The kingdom's coming

In the mundane tasks of living
In the pouring out and giving
In the waking up and trying 
In the laying down and dying

That's a little stone that's a little mortar
That's a little seed that's a little water
In the hearts of the sons and the daughters
The kingdom's coming

tell me why?

Why are people so DIM sometimes???? I get so angry - and truly, have to battle for 'compassion' - when I think of the thousands of people who IGNORED pleas for them to leave and are now risking the lives of rescue workers because they were too attached to their THINGS...or because they assumed they knew better. Help me understand these people. I'm just shocked by it. I'm trying to be compassionate...I really am. 

Gov. Rick Perry's office said 940 people had been saved by nightfall Saturday, but that thousands had made distress calls the night before. Another 600 were rescued from flooding in neighboring Louisiana.

"What's really frustrating is that we can't get to them," Galveston police officer Tommie Mafrei said. "It's jeopardizing our safety when we try to tell them eight hours before to leave. They are naive about it, thinking it's not going to be that bad."

Some coastal residents waded through chest-deep water with their belongings and children in their arms to get to safety Saturday. Military helicopters loaded others carrying plastic bags and pets in their arms and brought them to dry ground.

questions? questions?

I need some COMMENTS here...

Tell me: if you could get a theologian-type person (that is, someone who knows a lot about all this God-stuff) come into your living room and teach you about some TOPIC and then allow a good discussion about that topic - what would it be?? 

Creation vs. Evolution?

How does a loving God allow bad things to happen?

Explain the different translations and what was "lost" in translation.

Comparative religion.

etc., etc. 

What would YOU ask...I'm curious. Just give me a sec of your time and click "comments" and tell me...what baffles you that you would love to understand/discuss/question? 

what would YOUR kid do?

The other day hubby was going into workout club. He was in the parking lot and heard a LOUD "bang". Not sure what happened, he got out to see a Ford pickup that had misjudged a parking space and hit a Ford Explorer (the Ex driver was not there). It was a good amt of damage...not just a door ding. Brent waited to see what was going to happen...the driver was a kid (it was MLK day, teenager CITY at the club that day) - prob high school aged. He didnt see Brent watching. He backed out FAST and headed to the back of the parking lot...parked his truck in a space and ran into the club.

Brent stood there unsure of what to do.

It was pouring ran...so, he didnt leave a note on Explorer. He considered chasing said kid down and confronting him, but then you run into the "grown many confronting a teenager" scenario and that is NOT a good. So, he wrote a note to mgmt (and talked to them) and put his # on note. He suggested them checking their cameras and said if someone comes in to ask, for them to call him and he'd tell them the whole story and help as best he could.

The conversation that this brought up with me/hubby when he got home went like this...

In an age of 'lookin out for #1' WHAT would our kids do in this same situation?? Have we taught them that to be responsible...to do the right thing? HOW are we trying to show them the 'way that they should go' so they wont depart from it? Are WORDS enough? Are we DOING enough? No and no.

We live in a world that teaches "do what FEELS right FOR YOU". If no one saw it, it didnt happen. You DESERVE to not have to deal w/that...it was an accident...you dont DESERVE to get in trouble.

What do you think? What are we teaching our kids? Am I teaching my kids to do the right thing thru my actions (not just my words?). Do I model honesty and integrity in the way I handle myself? Do I use my words to build up or tear down when (I think) no one is looking/listening? Do I make choices that are what God wants for me, not only what I want for me?

It really got us thinkin...

What would OUR kids do in that situation?

best ever blog

The last few days I've gotten some sad news about a friend who lost his father to Leukemia this week. If you've read this blog long, you know that I've had a life riddled with loss...times that seemed unsurviveable, I still wonder how I got thru those times. But for me, I call it (weird as this sounds) a burden worth having bc God has given me a memory that wont fade of loss/pain. Thru the struggles, He's given me perspective, a compassion for those who are suffering...I remember...I can never forget.

And so, last year a friend had asked for some "etiquette answers" about funerals. It became a blog...perhaps my best ever. Read thru these and just remember to stop...really stop and BE THERE. Those who are sitting on the front row of the pew at the funeral dont have a choice.
.

1) NEVER EVER SKIP A FUNERAL. OK, I know you sometimes dont feel like you know the person well enough or that they might want a private/intimate setting. Nonsense, I say. TRUST ME ON THIS, if you ever wonder whether you should go, the answer is YES. Be there. Just BE THERE. You dont have to say a word, just be a presence. I can still name the kids from my school who were at my dad's funeral...James, BethAnn, Scott, Greg, Holley, Janelle, and on and on. I will NEVER forget. Some of them were not even close friends. There were just THERE. Never skip. Never.

2) If its someone who is kinda close to you, go to the "viewing" also. I know, its uncomfortable and no fun and under NO circumstances do you WANT to be there. I promise, that grieving person feels the same way. Its horrible. I remember feeling like I was forced to go when Dad died. I was. But I needed to see him. And, nothing felt better than when one of MY friends (not my parents' friends) walked in and just stood by me. You dont have to even go "show respect" to the deceased, just show respect to the living...you're there FOR THEM, not for the one who is gone. Remember that. Its the hardest day of the whole ordeal...go there and hug a neck.

3) "What do I say??" I dont know what to tell you. When someone goes thru losing a loved one they feel alienated, weird, lost. Don't avoid them. Don't ignore it. Don't pretend like it didnt happen. Be willing to go out on a limb and make a fool of yourself to say the wrong thing. I promise, people said the wrong thing to me 100 times, but it was never more appreciated bc at least they didnt pretend not to see me and run. Want a couple lines to avoid? "How're you doing?" "Our prayers are with you." "Its all a part of God's purpose." Want a few to consider - "I love you", "I havent forgotten", "Ya know, I knew that person and I remember XXX about him.", "That person taught me XXX and I'll never forget it". Recently a precious new friend shared a memory she had of my dad with me. He's been gone 21 years. She took the time to tell me about the time she met him. I cried more than I have in 10 years. She will never truly understand what she gave me...a gift that even 21 years later is the MOST precious gift anyone can give me - she gave me a NEW memory to keep in my heart. Dont underestimate that.

4) Help them laugh. When you're grieving, it feels like there's a big ol' branch sticking in your gut...it never leaves and it catches on every part of life. You can never forget its there. When you forget for a minute, it starts aching to remind you that it is still there. Give them a minute to forget about that huge branch...make them laugh.

5) Don't say "Call me if you need something". THey'll never call. Instead, be intuitive - think...if they have kids, ask if they can come play one day. Or, call an hour ahead and say "I'm bringing dinner!" - dont ask, just DO. Drop a bunch of new paper towels, paper plates, toilet paper, napkins, etc. on their porch and call and say its there. Dont ask, just DO. Send a housekeeper. Think practical...those are the things that are hard to do.

6) Check in 2 months later. If there is anything besides #1 that I want people to know, its that WE DONT MOVE ON LIKE YOU DO. Ya know, you leave a funeral, feel sad and then move on. The grieving dont move on. Its one of the hardest things...that next few months. I always tell friends, "the funeral is the easiest part". Every friend/family is there...support, love, memories. But then, everyone moves on. Dont move on. Call. Send a letter. Drop by. Dont forget.

7) Check in at holidays. Nothing is harder for me than Fathers Day and the anniversary of his death. Nothing. 21 years later, still, nothing. It makes me feel loved when friends remember...

8) Write letters to them. Not sympathy cards (although those are nice, too) - but pour out your heart. Send memories on paper that they can read over and over. Remind them of God's love - not by telling them "its all a part of His plan", but by LOVING THEM.

9) Dont have expectations. Dont expect overwhelming gratitude bc you are so thoughtful. Dont expect returned calls. Dont expect smiles. Dont expect tears. Dont expect them to bear their souls. Dont expect anything. Dont expect them to return to normal. Dont expect them NOT to. Its unpredictable, this grief thing.

10) Dont judge. So often I hear people saying things like "Should she be going out so SOON after he died?" "Shouldnt she be sadder?" Well meaning people who are WATCHING...and talking. Don't be one of them. YOU DONT KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON IN THAT PERSON. Be different.

11) You dont have to rehearse. Just pray. Dont know what to say? Dont have a PLAN? Just pray. He'll give you the words...or no words. Just step out there. Its so hard, I know. Trust me, I've said STUPID things to people grieving, too. Just remember, less is more. Hugs work wonders. Truthfulness and humility are priceless. A listening ear is like quenching a thirst. Just BE THERE.

I truly believe it is a THING that He has put on me...compassion for the broken-hearted. Remember, someday YOU will be that person sitting on the front pew...

What do you think?

courage...

Yep. I think that is the thing that I am to learn from these past few months and take with me into 2008. COURAGE. Sounds lame, eh? Ya see, my fears arent your fears...but I do know that I need to be courageous, and stop being ruled by fear...by assumptions...by perceptions...by comparrisons...by the need to please others. I never knew how bad I'd let 'fear' swallow me up and lead me thru life. And so, today I read some words written JUST FOR ME...maybe they were written for you, too??

John Maxwell writes of his addiction to PEOPLE-PLEASING and how God led him on a very long (4 year) journey to change. This is what he wrote to keep him focused on what God wanted of him...WOW WOW WOW. Little does he know, he wrote it for ME...

Courageous leadership simply means I've developed...
1) Convictions that are stronger than my fears.
2) Vision that is clearer than my doubts.
3) Spiritual sensitivity that is louder than popular opinion.
4) Self-esteem that is deeper than self-protection.
5) Appreciation for discipline that is greater than my desire for leisure.
6) Dissatisfaction that is more forceful than status quo.
7) Poise that is more unshakeable than panic.
8) Risk-taking that is stronger than safety-keeping.
9) Actions that are more robust than rationalization.
10) A desire to see potential reached more than to see people pleased.

And so, I take on 2008 asking Him to keep showing me (painful, yet accurate) truths that He wants me to know. Have you stopped to really ask Him where He wants you to go this year. Not what YOU/I want to see in 2008, but rather, from His perspective...what is He looking for from you/me?

I want to ask...I want to know

Merry CHRISTMAS...there I said it!

No 'happy holidays' around here...MERRY CHRISTMAS!